


when the shattered pieces come together; only then i can breathe

by cute_lil_fluff



Series: ot4 pu: junnie [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, mentions of vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 15:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15997868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cute_lil_fluff/pseuds/cute_lil_fluff
Summary: For the vast majority of people, airports are no fun. They’re stressful and busy and (at least for them) the sheer number and ferocity of the fans that show up when they fly can be immediately overwhelming. They all feel it - everyone’s always a little quieter when they’re at the airport.





	when the shattered pieces come together; only then i can breathe

For the vast majority of people, airports are no fun. They’re stressful and busy and (at least for them) the sheer number and ferocity of the fans that show up when they fly can be immediately overwhelming. They all feel it - everyone’s always a little quieter when they’re at the airport.

Despite their own discomfort, all of the members tend to keep an extra eye on their two youngest and Junhui. Airports have all the common triggers of anxiety and panic.

It’s generally the worst for Hansol, who has difficulty being around so many people, especially when he’s already tired and stressed and the people are complete strangers. He’s currently content, though, curled up into Seungkwan’s side where they sit on the floor, leaning back against the wall.

He’s half hidden by Seungkwan’s jacket, his headphones are on blasting his ‘calm me down :(‘ playlist, and Seungkwan’s gentle fingers are stroking over the skin of his neck in a slow, recurring rhythm.

Chan can get really uncomfortable if they have a long wait, especially if it’s particularly loud - that tends to set him off. They used to always fly at night when the tickets were cheaper, and that had solved this problem, for the most part. Now, however, with their increased budget, they’re usually in airports at their busiest times, which makes Chan more anxious.

Right now, Chan’s sat on the carpet in front of Soonyoung’s chair, head tilted to the side to rest on the elder’s thigh. Soonyoung’s got one hand laced in his hair, fingers gently brushing through the silky strands as they both silently scroll through their phones.

They’re both seemingly calm enough to make it onto the flight without much trouble.

Junhui, though, is hit and miss. Sometimes he’s absolutely fine, and he gets on the plane without a blip and can focus his attention on the other two. But sometimes, the stress of it all is too much for him and he gets completely overwhelmed, consumed by anxiety.

Other times, they can get through security without a hitch, the airport could be completely empty and silent, and Jun would still get anxious and freak out. Because that’s how his anxiety works, he doesn’t just get anxious when he’s ‘supposed’ to be - sometimes he gets worked up for no reason at all.

As for today, Jun had seemed alright all morning, no more tense than Minghao would expect from a travel day. He’d gotten up early and made breakfast without anyone asking, making sure that everyone had a proper meal before flying. He’d spent some time with Hansol and Chan on the sofa, checking that they were okay, before helping out anyone who was trying to pack last minute.

But now, he’s suddenly so much worse. It’s as if as soon as they had walked through the doors of the airport, he had tensed up and started trembling. He’s pale and shaky and fidgety in the seat next to Minghao - Minghao may have assumed that he was ill if he didn’t know him as well as he does. It’s no longer looking so good.

If anyone else has noticed, they haven’t said anything, knowing that Junhui hates nothing more than making a fuss, especially when they have ‘bigger’ priorities. Despite this, Minghao has noticed Chan’s eyes flicking up to his hyung every few minutes, as though waiting for the moment he can intervene to help without Jun pushing him away.

Truth be told, Junhui would probably be fine right now if he wasn’t already feeling under the weather. He’s not sure whether it’s just anxiety or he actually is getting sick, but his head is pounding and his stomach feels uneasy. It’s setting him on edge. He really doesn’t want to get on this flight, but he knows that he has to, and so he says nothing.

Junhui doesn’t realise that he’s jerking his knee up and down nervously until Minghao lays his hand on Jun’s thigh, thumb tracing along the seam of his jeans. “What’s wrong?” He asks head dipped towards Junhui as to keep their conversation between the two of them. He knows that Junhui wouldn’t want to attract the attention of the others if it wasn’t completely necessary.

Jun turns to look at him, and Minghao can tell how anxious he is just from the look in his eyes - he looks like he’s about to burst into tears. Junhui takes his lower lip between his teeth, dropping his head to rest on Minghao’s shoulder with a short sigh. He then reaches for the hand from his leg and laces their fingers together, using his free hand to anxiously twist Minghao’s ring around on his pinky.

Aside from that, he doesn’t reply. Minghao doesn’t push it any further than that, but he does keep watching him warily, wanting to catch any sign that he’s feeling worse.

Minghao watches as Jun’s eyes begin to flicker around the room, almost frantically, and his shoulders tense up, his grip on Minghao’s hand tightening. His throat is twitching as he tries to hide that it’s getting harder to breathe, and there are tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

The younger instantly turns himself towards his hyung, ready to start talking him down, when Junhui suddenly speaks, muttering “I feel sick” under his breath before standing up, dropping Minghao’s hand in the process. Minghao’s eyes go wide without his permission as Jun disappears towards the toilets.

Minghao meets Chan’s gaze from across the walkway - he seems to have been watching the exchange and looks both confused and concerned. He’s really troubled about Junhui’s condition, Minghao can tell, but he quickly tilts his head in Junhui’s direction, silently telling Minghao to follow him.

Without further instruction, Minghao jumps to his feet to do as instructed, chasing after Junhui as he disappears around the corner. Minghao tries not to let himself get too worried before he’s figured out what’s actually going on - he can help Junhui through his panic attacks, he’s done it before.

Minghao knows that, even if Junhui really is ill, he probably just wanted an excuse to hide himself away. Junhui’s insecure in most scenarios - he hates being looked at and stared at by strangers, and he hates being the centre of attention. This is only magnified when he’s anxious.

Jun’s out of sight by the time Minghao finds the bathrooms, and there are too many locked stalls for him to guess which one Junhui is in. “Jun-hyung?” He calls out, ignoring the looks he gets from the people hovering around him. He doesn’t care what they think, he just wants to make sure that his baby is okay and take care of him if he isn’t.

Before Minghao can start banging doors down, a familiar hand with a silver band wrapped around the pinky appears from under one of the doors and Minghao sighs in relief. He doesn’t hesitate to walk over and knock on it lightly. “Let me in, baby.” He requests through the wood before the lock clicks open.

Minghao steps inside, shutting and locking the door behind him before looking down at the sorry state his boyfriend is in.

Junhui is curled up on the bathroom floor, his head hidden between his knees and his chest. He’s visibly trembling and Minghao’s heart breaks with each of his muffled sobs and pitiful sniffles. Minghao feels his shoulders sag - he hates seeing Junhui upset.

He was hoping, so much, that Junhui wouldn’t struggle today. He knows just how much worse flying is for Junhui when he’s anxious, and he’d just wanted the elder to have a good day. Lord knows Junhui deserves it. He doesn’t deserve to be crying in a sticky airport bathroom.

Stepping carefully, Minghao kneels down in front of Junhui and immediately pulls him into a hug, arms wrapping around his back and holding him close. Jun lets out a shaky breath as he lifts his head, resting his forehead in its usual spot against Minghao’s collarbone. His wet eyes and red cheeks make the corners of Minghao’s lips pull down into a frown.

“Hao~,” Junhui says with a broken sob as he pastes himself to Minghao’s front. His name seems to be the only word he can come up with, though his lips remain parted as though he has more he wants to say.

Junhui’s so articulate in Mandarin, he’s so intelligent and eloquent, it’s such a shame that he struggles to express himself as well in Korean. It’s such a shame that their members, management, and Korean fans don’t get to experience how wonderful Jun’s words are in Mandarin. Instead, he’s pinned as the pretty airhead because the language barrier makes him seem as such.

Nevertheless, all of his words in both languages go straight out the window when he’s upset.

Minghao rests his cheek on the top of Jun’s head as he gently rocks him back and forth, one hand sneaking up to stroke through Jun’s messy hair. He coos gently under his breath, whispering reassurances against Jun’s scalp in some effort to calm him down. “I’ve got you, you’re okay. Don’t worry, I’m here, it’s alright.”

Jun’s shaky hands latch onto Minghao’s jumper, knotting into the fabric. He’s panting harshly against Minghao’s collar, choking between short gasps and painful coughs. Minghao keeps stroking his back and petting his hair, knowing that Jun prefers steady contact during a panic attack as it helps to ground him and calm him down.

Minghao begins counting in fours against the shell of Jun’s ear and he gradually begins to steady out his breathing.

When he’s a bit more stable, Jun turns his head so that his face is no longer squished against Minghao’s chest. “Did you throw up?” Minghao asks, and Junhui shakes his head, tiredly blinking his eyes closed. Minghao hums, the vibrations sending a shiver down Jun’s spine, which makes him crack a little smile.

“Talk to me, baby. Can you tell me what’s going on?” Minghao asks, and Jun lets out a shaky sigh, still a little breathless.

“‘M so overwhelmed.” He responds, barely a whine in the back of his throat. He presses his nose against Minghao’s neck. “God, I feel so _bad_.” He adds on, lazily switching between Korean and Mandarin. He only does that when he’s feeling embarrassed, when he doesn’t really want anyone understanding what he’s saying.

Minghao just holds him tighter.

“How can I make you feel better?” Minghao asks, punctuating the question with a kiss to Jun’s temple. Junhui wriggles a little so that he can press himself impossibly closer to Minghao, whining softly until Minghao kisses him again.

“I don’t know-” Junhui chokes out, his voice failing him. “I just- I just feel so bad. I feel sick and I don’t want to get on that plane, but I have to- and these clothes. I really don’t want to fly in these clothes.” Jun vaguely motions to his clothes with a shaky hand - he’s been put into some really tight jeans and a button down in preparation for their airport photos. Minghao wouldn’t want to fly in that either.

“Alright, alright.” Minghao soothes, words whispered against the damp skin of Jun’s cheek. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I can fix that.” He tries to reassure the elder, careful not to jostle him too much as he digs his phone out of his back pocket.

**hao-ie <3**

please could you find some sweatpants and a shirt and bring them to the bathrooms? and a bottle of water if you can find one?

He knows that a few of the members pack a spare set of clothes in their carry on when they fly, and they'd be more than happy to lend them to Junhui, whether he was feeling anxious or not. Minghao doesn't think Chan will have any problems finding what they need.

**channie <3**

of course. is j-hyung okay?

**hao-ie <3**

he's not feeling great :( please hurry

**channie <3**

oh no :(

omw hold tight

Whilst they wait, Minghao carefully manoeuvres them until he’s sat against the wall with Jun properly in his lap, still wrapped up in the younger’s arms. He can feel Jun’s heart racing, and Minghao knows that he must be feeling horrific. On top of that, they still have to get on a five-hour flight soon, and that thought can only be making it worse.

The bathroom must have cleared out a bit because Chan immediately finds them when he turns up a few minutes later. He knocks lightly on the stall door with a quiet call of “hyungs?” Minghao lets him in - it’s a tight fit, but he doesn’t think he could stop Chan from joining them if he wanted to.

Chan sets the clothes he brought on the closed toilet lid and kneels down in the remaining space in front of Junhui, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead and using his sleeves to dry the tears dribbling down his cheeks. Then he opens the water bottle and presses it against the elder’s lips. “Oh, Junnie-hyung~” He coos. “You need to learn to put yourself first.” Chan scolds gently as Jun takes slow sips, Chan thumbing away the drops that escape from the corners of his mouth.

Jun hums a little, obviously not quite understanding what Chan is referencing. Chan tilts his head a little, eyes flitting quickly to Minghao’s when Jun pushes the water away in favour of pressing a hand against his - still heaving - chest. Chan laces a hand in his hair. “I know you’ve been keeping an eye on me and Hansol all morning, just in case we got anxious. You should have been focussed on yourself, especially if you already weren’t feeling good.”

Jun grunts, disgruntled a little by how easily Chan can see through him, pulling the maknae closer by hands on either side of his ribcage, pressing his face into the dip of the boy’s chest. “You’re always my number one priority. You know that.” He replies, his voice soft and breathless, a dead giveaway of just how anxious he still is.

Nevertheless, he’s still talking to Chan as if he’s the centre of attention.

“Yeah. And I love you for that, but sometimes I shouldn’t be. Your health and happiness are important too. Just because me or Hansol are anxious, it doesn’t mean your anxiety stops.” Junhui doesn’t reply to that, just keeps his face hidden until Minghao taps at his hips.

“Come on, let’s get you comfy.” He says, lips dragging across the skin on the back of Jun’s neck as he speaks.

Chan stands first, holding his hands out to help Junhui up, doing the same for Minghao, who thanks him with a quick hug and a peck on his cheek. “There’s not enough room to change in here,” Junhui complains as Minghao’s deft fingers begin working on his buttons. Chan’s stood behind him, an arm wrapped around his waist to prop him up in case his knees go weak.

“Don’t be silly. Of course there is.” Minghao assures him, and Jun smiles down at him wanly. Minghao tilts his head back to press a series of chaste kisses to Jun’s lips as he shucks the shirt off his shoulders - at least until Chan reaches around and smacks him on the arm for being “gross~”

Regardless of his protests, when they slip Junhui’s shirt off and Minghao reaches for the new one, Chan wraps his arms around Junhui’s middle and smushes his face into the warm spot between his shoulders. He hums, making Jun squeak in surprise. “Oh, you’re so pretty.” He says.

It’s Chan’s turn to get smacked.

Jun’s giggling a little, though, so neither of them are really too perturbed. With a few knocked knees and wandering hands, Minghao and Chan get their hyung into the comfier clothes that Chan had brought with him, and he instantly seems relieved.

The sweatshirt is Seungcheol’s, he can tell from the soft fleece lining - Seungcheol has always been the type to spend his money on good quality clothes rather than finding the cheapest option like the rest of them. Despite his good intentions, it usually just means that if someone’s going to steal another member’s clothes, Seungcheol’s is the first wardrobe they head towards.

The sweatpants are Mingyu’s, if the length is anything to go by.

**Author's Note:**

> so i'm sorry that i haven't posted in ages but i literally moved to university (!) so, yeah, sorry. this one is so totally unfinished and not that great but it's been in the works for weeks and i finally got to a place where i am somewhat happy with it so this is when you get it. sorry if it's not up to scratch, but i hope you enjoyed it anyway.
> 
> thanks for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](https://hattieie.tumblr.com)


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